Now don’t get me wrong, I feed off of positive energy, goals and aspirations to better ones self, but year after year, almost like herds of cattle, we take our New Year ticket and walk through the daunting gate, expressing to all ” My New Year Resolution this year is…..”.

Resolutions/Hope’s for the year are fabulous, however, goals, are ideas that are put into action, one actually must do the work achieve the wished result. ( for instance, I think tonight, I’ll have one extra glass of wine – now THIS, I could realistically accomplish, if all else were as easy) .

You know when you go to Weddings and Funerals… see people you rarely if ever see and it so often result’s with feeling’s expressed “OMG, its so great to see you, lets promise to spend more time together, lets connect soon and make it happen”.? The encounter likely sparked emotion and truly genuine intent to make the conscious effort to in fact, see them again – at that moment it was completely sincere and expressed with the purest intentions to follow through. The reality is however – if they weren’t a regular part of your life prior, unless you make the change and the effort following the run in, they were just words. Not going to happen.

Resolutions feel the same to me. Statements made at the time, during the moment “YES, I can totally do this, I’m going from 0 – 100 and changing everything that’s a current habit in my life a complete 180.. I GOT THIS, THIS year I’m totally going to nail this”. As its been said “been there, done that, bought the t-shirt and watched the friggin’ movie”… Bottom line, these resolution’s aren’t attainable, leaving the feeling of failure, guilt and remorse, and WHY? Why do we set these unrealistic goals for ourselve’s, a bar that we can’t possibly reach. Why not forget the “bar”, instead of running before we learn to walk, become a strong crawler?

Baby steps. We attract what we put out into the world, I believe this with every fibre of my being… Take weight loss for instance as retail come January 1 are PACKED with getting fit gear, protein shakes and gyms saturate the media luring our vulnerable resolution mindset, so, instead of focusing on the scale, a # and date to achieve it, why to focus energy on living a healthier lifestyle i.e.: DECIDE TODAY, I am going to drink at least one tall glass of water with lemon. DECIDE tomorrow, I’m going to run up the stairs not once but 2 times instead of walk. DECIDE the day after, no snacking after 7pm. Suddenly, before we know it, these subtle ACHIEVABLE goals have been met because we changed our routine, which changed our mindset and the result – created a new habit.

I wish we all have the very best year to date in our lives, personally am thrilled to finally lay 2018 to rest, my hope is, we are gentler with ourselves, we don’t expect more from ourselves than we can realistically achieve because to me, this is self sabotage and that’s not a motivating way to begin a fresh new chapter. Minute by minute, being present in the moment, focussing energy on what we can control, which is RIGHT NOW, not 6 months from now. Learn from the past but not looking back, take lessons learned forward with you. Live for today and look towards tomorrow with enthusiasm because if you can dream it, you CAN DO IT!!!! ps. It takes zero effort to smile at a stranger (but not in a creepy stalker way), a small thing, but could literally be the best part of someone else’s day – #bekind. And Happy New Year to you all. xo

With 2019 approaching quickly, as do the the lists of resolutions. Why do we set ourselves up to fail? Goals are fabulous (dreams put into actions). But keeping them achievable and realistic are extremely important. I struggle with nightly “tomorrow I’m doing ….” almost daily. I tend to have loads of energy and great intentions late at night, then the morning comes, I find any and every excuse to procrastinate, setting myself up to fail constantly. It begins to weigh heavily. I’ve been asked to assist with a friend’s closet purge. She’s overwhelmed and doesn’t know how or where to begin. I assured her and can say with confidence, this isn’t a rare or unique issue. I expressed it will be difficult and tough love will be assisting me, she wishes to proceed. Here are a few tips and tricks I’ve learned (still attempting to master myself so I practice what I preach). Hope you find them helpful.

1. BABY STEPS…. don’t look at the entire house and decide you’re going to organize it/clean it. Its WAY too overwhelming and you’ll end up sitting on the couch Netflix binge watching, beating yourself up between episodes on why you’re not tackling the dust collecting upon the piles you promised yourself you’d rid of. Its a vicious circle. Instead of the WHOLE HOUSE.. decide to tackle one small space at a time. A “junk drawer”, a bathroom cabinet, under the kitchen sink, or even yes, the Master Bedroom Closet. ONE space at a time, if you achieve it quickly, move on to the next space. TRUST me… you will be so in love with the tiniest of spaces purged and organized. Its quite motivating.
2. TOSS, DONATE, SELL… three main rules for any purge project, even for one drawer. Keep whats essential, make the hard choice to “file” the rest. Keep ONLY what you’ve used in the last year. If its special or an heirloom, create another “rule” and store it away in the basement. Let’s focus on the Master Closet,… If you haven’t worn it in a year… doesn’t fit, price tags still on or not… BYE BYE. Having something in your closet in the HOPES that ONE DAY you’ll fit into it… just don’t. If you achieve a goal to get healthy and in the interim, drop a few sizes, reward yourself with something new. Keeping pieces that don’t fit weigh heavily, cause self esteem issues and take up valuable space in the closet. Anything ripped or stained, toss, things salvageable, donate, valuable items, excellent condition, loads of consignment shops or Kijiji/Ebay are great tools to use too.
3. Basics, my fail safe basics tend to always be blacks, greys, whites and denim (French Capsule Wardrobe- by definition). Monochromatic is my happy place. Try to limit yourself to 5 of each in the closet – blouses, sweaters, dresses, skirts, slacks, jeans, blazers (not shoes – that’s barbaric).
4. Invest In; A huge stack of thin velvet hangers, 5 wooden hangers for jackets, 5, 5 piece metal clip hangers for skirts, slacks and denim/leggings. Stick to the same colour hangers for a clean looking space, mine tend to be black (my go to). 3 Bins for top of closet shelf.. all the same, great for storing belts, scarves, clutches, whatever you like keeping the shelf looking like a “staged” space, and one you’ll love opening to view your easy accessible, easy to find pieces.
5. Large Closet Mirror , (or in my case, the HUGE one that leans against the wall with a thick black wooden frame purchased from Ikea, but Homesence has loads of these too). PERFECT to use as a dressing mirror to get a full top to bottom view of your outfit before you leave.
6. The Dresser … PLEASE, for the love of god… old stained ripped “unmentionables” – THROW OUT… I have always believed that no woman could possibly feel empowered without pretty matching bra & panties. Every woman should own at least 5 good t-shirt bras, black, beige and white, 2 strapless, 2 sports bras & 2 sets of nipple covers (if you can wear depending on size) and at least 7 pr of clean / no line panties. Treat yourself to a bra fitting, if you’ve never been – your “girls” and your back will thank me. The majority of the female population is wearing the wrong size bra – so sad for the ta-tahs… gravity is NOT their friend. My Mom finally took my advice – she always wore a 38 C… she was actually a 34 D. Immediate “boob” lift and appeared 10lbs lighter… Enough said.

Hope these little tips and tricks help bring your boudoir closet back to its full potential and a space that feels like a sanctuary, not a self created torture chamber of despair and sadness. Remember having less “quality” items that you will actually wear, is more, than a room jammed full of clothes, bags, shoes and various piles of “what-evers” that you don’t use.

1. Less is more! All the clutter – used to be money. Do you really need it or is it just filing a void with temporary happiness.
2. Quality over quantity. Invest in quality, in all aspects – fashion, vehicles and relationships.
3. Masturbation isn’t “dirty”, explore your body, buy the vibrator, know your curves and learn what it takes to make yourself feel good – don’t wait for a partner much later in life before finally experiencing the BIG “O M G” (trust me on this… and you’re welcome!).
4. The 24/hr rule. Learn the art of restraint. NEVER fire back a text or email when (over) emotional.. EVER. This advice would have saved me decades of horrible anxiety and needless drama. Breathe, walk away, broach it the next day with a clear head. The person on the other end of the keyboard is primed and anticipating your immediate reply… let them sweat it out.
5. You teach people how to treat you. Enough said.
6. BE YOU. Two little words that provide HUGE results. If you’re true to yourself and focus on the things that literally drive your soul, you will attract people that think you’re magical – you’ll be SO much happier living authentically. The ones that don’t see your value – thats ok – these aren’t your people.
7. WAKE UP, STAND UP, DRESS UP – this motivation is huge. Its way too easy to hide under the cozy sheets, they pull you in like quick sand. Make yourself get out of bed, washed & dressed… its an immediate energy bolt.
8. Change is scary.. but regret is like dying by a thousand cuts. If you’ve done the work and exhausted all efforts, accept & let it go. The job, the relationship,whatever. It will be worth it. Don’t look back, you’ll just trip over past mistakes and slow down your progress.
9. By the shoes, the dress, eat the cake…. these are expressions about savouring the beauty in life. If you can’t afford it – don’t buy it. If you eat the cake – own that the “drier” shrunk your clothes again. Think of the bigger goal instead of the immediate payoff. If you’ll be left feeling regret… its just not worth it.
10. BEFORE YOU SAY IT – is it true/factual, is it useful, is it kind. Speak your mind if you’re wronged, offer advice only when asked, and don’t engage on social media feeds where negativity from “keyboard courage” could result. You’ll get yourself all fired up – AND look like an a$$hole on a public forum – trust me.. you will. THINK before SPEAKING. In most cases, saying nothing has the greatest impact.